Monday, April 19, 2010

Server Rant

i've been working in restaurants since i was 15. And over the past 7 years, i have developed an insane amount of irrational pet peeves when it comes to customers. here are my top ones. NEVER do these things when you're out to eat. we will talk about you, and maybe spit in your food (just kidding....maybe)

1. do not ever snap at me to get my attention. i will snap on you

2. do not ingest 6 pints of soda during your sitting. it's disgusting and annoying. esp you diet coke drinkers out there. you are the worst. just cause it's diet does not mean it is all of a sudden good for you. gross

3. do not whisper to me, or make some sort of signing motion for what you want. you're not being more polite by whispering, you are just getting on my nerves more.

4. i hate when i get to your table and ask you what you want to drink and you respond, "i dont know, i just got here." how do you not know what you want to drink?!?! you get the same thing every time. here's a hint. you can get water or coke. make up your mind

5. i also hate when you get to the table and you just wanna chit chat for 30 min before ever opening your menu. how am i supposed to know when to come back to your table to get your order?! just look at the menu, order your fucking food, then you can chit chat til the restaurant closes

6. where i work now, we have a soup and salad bar. yes it is unlimited it's NOT a buffet!. i hate when people order the salad bar and call it a buffet. stop being such a fat ass....go to golden corral

7. i also hate when i ask you a question and you just stare at me like im an idiot and never answer me. how hard can it be to give me a simple response

8. do not order 4 different drinks, just for yourself. are you kidding me?! "a coffee, water, oj and oh wait a minute some hot chocolate too"

9. also if you are over the age of 12 DO NOT order a fucking chocolate milk! i am judging you

10. lastly, DO NOT fight over the check in front of me! how awkward can you be?! i dont care who pays, how you wanna split it, whatever. but do not snatch it out of my hand and awkwardly bicker to me about who is paying. shutup

okay, sorry if this sounds harsh. i dont think most servers are this particular, ive just been one for TOOOO long. i need a new job, stat!

1 comment:

  1. I've been a server the same amount of time and I think you are spot on! I would add: No breast feeding at the table! That's what the changing stations in the bathrooms are for.